Goalie when needed

It used to be the Arsenal way. Assemble your team by first putting in place a fine ‘keeper - a solid foundation on which to build. How things have changed.

Much has been written about the current crop of dross we have between the sticks – so I won’t venture too much into that here. In short, though, you win nothing with a clown in goal, and Wenger’s current group of ‘keepers - Manuel Almunia (at least one major mistake per game); Lukasz Fabianski (poor decision-making, terrible wrist action); Vito Manone (even Wenger won’t give him a game); Wojciech Szczęsny (broke his wrists while weightlifting) – suggest he’s neglected the number one position somewhat. Mind you, a little look over all those who’ve donned the Rucanors under Wenger suggests he’s never much bothered with signing good goalies. In no particular order…

David Seaman: There’s not much you can say about Seaman that hasn’t already been said… unless it’s that he’s interesting, a devoted husband, and has good hair. Laugh-a-minute he weren’t, but good he was. That thing they say about the good goalkeepers being the ones who don’t need to be spectacular summed up the self-proclaimed “Safe Hands” perfectly. Forget the lobs by Nayim and Ronaldinho, in his time at Arsenal he bagged three league titles, four FA Cups, a League Cup, a Cup Winners’ Cup and the bird from the ticket office. Not bad for a mustachioed angler from Rotherham. But Wenger didn’t sign him, Graham did.

John Lukic: The best thing about John Lukic was that myth that his mother was an air-stewardess on the Man Utd plane that crashed in Munich. Sadly, it was just that – a myth. There was indeed a woman on board called Lukic, but for the story to be true John would have to have been three years older or she would have to have had the world’s longest pregnancy. Lukic had an amazing rapport with the fans and was adored during his first spell at Highbury. A quiet but effective type, George Graham’s public attempts to replace him with David Seaman resulted in an unprecedented – and unexpected – fan campaign to keep him. Whole halves of matches were ignored by fans behind the goal he stood in, as songs questioning Seaman’s wrist activities rang out. As it happened, Graham was right. Lukic went on to win another title at Leeds but Seaman was an integral part of much bigger success at Arsenal. Big John returned briefly in 2006 as a back-up ‘keeper and was there under Wenger until 2001 – when he left at the age of 41.

Alex Manninger: Manninger was born at the wrong time. As understudy to Seaman he hardly got a look in. Whereas had he been at Arsenal today he’d probably be first choice (that said, Harvey Price could probably be first choice today). When he did play, he made a big impact. His eight clean sheets in a row is still a club record and that same season he had a crucial hand in bringing the double to Highbury. In a cup tie at West Ham we were up against it. Bergkamp had been sent off for elbowing the face off Steve Lomas. Bergy protested innocence. But Lomas’ nose was over by his ear and his shirt covered in blood. Arsenal scraped a draw and Manninger saved the shoot-out penalties that kept us in the cup. In 2002, in search of first-team football, Manninger moved to Espanyol for £1m. Bizarrely they released him from his contract seven weeks later. A resurgence in form and a club injury crisis meant he was recently first choice at Juventus.

Richard Wright: I think Wright was a victim of Wenger sticking his fingers up at those crying out for him to buy British. With people bemoaning Wenger’s foreign policy, he snapped up Wright and Francis Jeffers, two of England’s best young prospects, for way over what he’d have paid for their European counterparts. He then sent them out to prove how shit and overpriced young English players are. Wright chose games at White Hart Lane to reveal he couldn’t catch Chlamydia in Basildon. Not the best of settings. He drifted away, as did Jeffers, and Wenger went off to look around Europe. Wright has recently signed for Sheffield United having been around the houses.

Vince Bartram: Vince was one of those players who was in the squad numbers on the back of the programme for what seemed like forever, yet no-one knew what he looked like because he never played. Always third or fourth choice, he was only actually at the club from ’94-’98, playing under Wenger only briefly and never actually, well, playing. Left for a tour of the lower leagues and played a couple of hundred games for Gillingham. Has the dubious honour of being forced to retire due to an injury caused by an opposition goalkeeper – after Tony Warner came up for a late corner and clattered him to the point of ending his career.

Fabian Carini: Who? This one’s a bit dubious. Wenger did a verbal deal for the Juve keeper, gave him a shirt and a squad number, and introduced him to the public via a photoshoot. Carini thought that would be a good time to slap in some higher wage demands. Wenger didn’t. He showed him the door and his Arsenal career was shorter than Wayne Rooney’s resistance at grab-a-grandma convention.

Jens Lehmann: Mental Jens. On his day, Lehmann was a great keeper. But he was prone to doing psycho things. While at times amusing to see, it would often jeopardise Arsenal’s chances, notably when he came close to ruining a very big party at WHL in 2004. That said, he was a character and he kept it interesting. “Lampard is a specialist in insulting people very badly,” he once said, insulting Lampard very badly. He also went on record with: “My coach confirmed to me that he uses a different measuring stick to evaluate Almunia. For me, this was a huge disappointment.” He might have had a point.

Rami Shaaban: I think Shaaban could have been a good goalkeeper for us. He played really well for half a dozen games but broke his leg in training and, while he was out, Arsenal signed Lehmann. Never quite returning to form, he went to West Ham on loan and then joined Brighton – which is a bit weird.

Graham Stack: Most people think footballers have a pretty easy life – thousands of pounds a week, a few hours training each day, and a maximum of just two games a week. Graham Stack had it even easier than that. In ten years as a professional goalkeeper between 1999 and 2009, he played 70 games. That’s it. Seven a year. Stack was another one who showed promise, but never quite made it. Probably distracted by the rape allegation made against him while playing on loan at Millwall.

Stuart Taylor: If you thought Graham Stack had an easy decade, you should see what Stuart Taylor was up to. Ten years (1999-2009) – 50 games. You do the math. And most of those were playing on loan in the lower leagues while being paid a big wage by the Arsenal. Money for old rope. A kind of rich version of sitting at home raking in the benefits, watching Jeremy Kyle because you’re too lazy to get a job. Like Stack, Taylor was a decent ‘keeper and showed potential at Arsenal. However, much like Bentley, Pennant and co, he believed he was worthy of a first team place – so headed off to prove Wenger wrong. He didn’t.

Mart Poom: Speaking of being rewarded for doing nothing… despite not playing in the game, nor being on the bench, and in fact never having played for the club, Mart Poom became the only Estonian ever to receive a Champions League Runners-up medal by virtue of being in Arsenal’s 25-man squad for the 2006 competition. Went on to play one first-team game – keeping a clean sheet – and recently became a goalkeeping coach at the club. Let’s hope he has more impact in his current role. It’ll be tough – what’s that phrase about polishing shit?