Paul Robinson... just isn't that type of player

Sometimes I wake up on a Monday and think, if you’d have tried to script Arsenal’s weekend beforehand, you wouldn’t have needed to be Mystic Meg or that spoon-bender to predict much of what happened. This weekend was one of those.

• Most people would have expected us to hit four or five against Bolton.
• Everyone knew we’d concede at least one because we can’t clear long balls and because we have a clown in goal.
• No-one would have been shocked that Bolton turned up without that new “football” they apparently play.
• We all knew Kevin Davies would deliberately try to hurt someone in the first ten minutes and get away with it.
• We knew all the pundits would say “it’s an okay result for Arsenal but they still have frailties at the back (snore) and are a top-four side at best”.
• It was likely that if there was a sending off, no-one would say “that’s a sending off”, and leave it at that.
• I wasn’t amazed to hear Gary Cahill “has only had one red card in his career and isn’t that type of player”.
• I wasn’t shocked that our 24-pass move for a goal generated less media attention that van der vaart’s (van der faart as Lineker called him) long ball into the box that bounced luckily for Modric to bang in from a yard.
• And of course, I knew as always, that a half-time pie and a pint would cost somewhere close to what Rooney pays for a packet of B&H in a Travel Tavern.

One thing, however, never fails to amaze me – no matter how many times it happens. Why do managers of crap clubs visiting Chelsea, Arsenal and Spurs, where nine times out of ten they will get a thumping, book themselves on to Sky’s Goals on Sunday the following day? They aren’t looking for work and don’t need the appearance fee. So it’s either ego or the willingness of Sky to point out all the injustices of their defeat that drive their Sunday morning exposure.

This week saw the turn of Bolton, who sent Manager Owen Coyle along to explain: “We were still very much in the game at 2-1 and the sending off of Gary Cahill [for a two-footed, both-feet-off-the-ground tackle-from-behind] was a ridiculous decision that changed the result.”

“I’m sorry to laugh, but I just find it such an incredible decision,” smirked the irritating little Scotsman. “When the smaller clubs come to the elite clubs, they don't get the rub of the green.”

Sky’s approach, as always, was to massage Coyle’s sense of injustice (almost physically) while replaying the “unjustified” sending off six times. Unfortunately for Coyle, while he rambled on that “you can say what you want but these things do not even themselves out over a season”, footage ran on to Paul Robinson’s attempt to break Abu Diaby’s leg.

“Should that have been a card?” whispered Ben Shepherd (who, incredibly, is married – but then so was Elton John). “That’s the first time I’ve seen it. I’d have to look at that one again,” replied Coyle.

Did Sky oblige? The answer, of course, is a predictable ‘no’. Not even one replay, let alone six.

Then again, things don’t even themselves out you see, and the big clubs get all the big decisions. And I guess Paul Robinson “just isn’t that type of player”.