Armchair observations

The downside of having a small child and a wife working shifts is missing the occasional game. Recouping 35 quid for my ticket, not having to stand in a cold Emirates devoid of atmosphere and abundant with idiot talk, saving 30 quid on a pie and a round of drinks and not having to traipse home on crap public transport at near-midnight is the upside. This week: small child to bed, telly on, good food and a comfortable seat for the game. As one of you said to me by text: “It’s like watching it in an executive box, but without the c*nts.”

From the comfort of my armchair, some observations:

I remain convinced, although slightly worried I’m paranoid (can you be paranoid that you’re paranoid?), of the media bias against Arsenal. ITV took particular joy in pointing out the game was “a mismatch” and “showed nothing to suggest Arsenal are any better equipped to win this than in previous years”. Andy Townsend went on and on and on about “how much harder it will be when Arsenal come up against Europe’s finest”. It’s a fair point, of course. But they were very praising of Chelsea’s efforts against Aldo Zilli FC, and had we watched Man U destroy a team in this way, I’m convinced they’d have been lauded for their amazing feat. Perhaps they’re waiting for us to come up against Rangers. Scottish football is rubbish. Man U vs Rangers was also a mismatch. But Andy Gray’s take was that Man U have nothing to worry about following a great attacking performance that only lacked goals. Yeah, just them goals that were missing. Nothing important. Lame.

Arsene Wenger has a grudge against me. Pre-match, during a moment of inspiration scrolling through my mobile PaddyPower app (how dangerous a creation is that?!), I lumped money on Arsenal to win 7-0. Odds of 175/1 would have knocked a nice chunk off next year’s season ticket. Bringing Denilson and Eboue on when we’re in full attacking flow is below the belt. The neighbours will be thinking two things this morning: I am very passionate about Arsenal going forward, even at 6-0 up; and Emmanuel Eboue is not my favourite all-time Arsenal player. Colourful language.

Picture the scene: Lionel Messi, the world’s shortest footballer, is in town doing a promotion. You secure a very brief television interview – a coup even for Sky. You have one question and one question only. You can ask him absolutely anything you want. Anything. So what do you ask the world’s greatest footballer? Sky: “Do you think Cesc Fabregas will join you at Barcelona?” Nice.

In-game, Arsenal cruising, playing some of the most stylish football you’ve ever seen. But wait, it’s been six minutes since we said something negative about Arsenal. Nasri makes a heavy challenge. Not a brilliant tackle, but not a dangerous one either. Commentator: “Don’t imagine Arsene Wenger saw it.” Twat.

Quote of the week: "He [Lehmann] belongs in the Muppet Show, on the couch or in a mental institution." Werder Bremen's goalkeeper Tim Wiese after Jens criticised his performance. Inspired.